The Wii can tell you a ton about the psychology of kids ~ pay attention!

The Wii is not just for entertainment; it can also be a barometer for what's going on in a child's world.  Of course, I analyze EVERYTHING and drive myself crazy doing it.  However, as I sat back and watched over the past few months, something amazing revealed itself.

In the beginning we had the core 5 ...  Me, Blayne, Mackenzie, Maguire and Braxtyn as our Mii's.  Aunt Katie stopped by and she earned one of her own.  A few weeks ago, the kids decided to make a few more.  They made DeeDee and Pops, Gigi and PawPaw, Uncle Trent, Uncle Nick and Aunt LuLu.  The most recent additions brought a smile to my face.  Mackenzie and Maguire made a Mii for their Dad and MeMe.  Brax made one for his Mom.  I supposed this is incidative of how smooth things are these days.

The Wii is their little world.  We all play together and the commentary is hilarious!  They see us as friends, family and people they love all in one space.  Things go awry with EX husbands, EX wives, etc. but these kids still love everyone the same.  We have to speak highly of family and friends to our children.  It's the best way to ensure their happiness and comfort.  If you are in a blended family dynamic, always decide what's BEST for the kids FIRST, then you Second.  You just might see a change in their gaming habits!              

Blending - A New Era

I think it's the dawning of a new era.  This Vackar Fam is settling in nicely.  Braxty-Doodle is a happy, healthy, SPIRITED child and really coming into his own.  And when I say "coming into his own" I mean .....  he's a streaker for sure!!  His Mom is stationed in Ft. Gordon but he hears her voice most days and we speak of her all the time.  He's beginning to let me in as his step-mom.  For awhile, he made it known that he loved me but was reserved with his emotions.  Recently, he's asked me to rub his back at night and even grabs for my hand when walking in public.  All I ask is that he's content and know that he's loved by everyone in his life.  All 3 kids have amazing grandparents.  My Mom and Dad (DeeDee and Pops) have 5 grandkids and have ALWAYS treated Brax as one of their own.....  since he was a little guy!  To them it never mattered, they loved him just the same.  Brax has a wonderful Mamaw and James as well as his other Pops.  Kenzie and Gwire enjoy Pops and DeeDee but on their Dad's side, they have a supportive MiMi and Nana as well!  It brings us so much joy to know they are adjusting so well.  As for Kenzie and Gwire ....  they are phenomenal siblings.  Recently, on a trip to Oklahoma, our family had the opportunity to travel as a group (with Mom, Dad, Lindsay, Nick and their sweet kiddos).  We had so much fun watching the kids interact with one another.  The boys were hysterical to say the least.  This week they started Warrior Prince and Princess Prep Academy and I'm excited about what they are learning!  Love, joy, peace, self-discipline, etc. and they are taking it to heart!  I'm witnessing little boys of 5 and 6 saying, "Ladies first!" and opening the door for their sister and me.  They are saying prayers at dinner thanking GOD for food, shelter, water, soccer, Taekwondo, Moms, Dads, Step-Moms and Step-Dads ......  I'm stoked!!  Never miss a moment they say.  I'm really trying to soak up each and every twist and turn in this blended family saga.  My prayers ask that these 3 wonderfully bright and social kids will excel in life.  That they might ask the appropriate questions to catapult them in the right direction.  That they understand that they are loved more that they can imagine .....   more that they can fathom ......  more than the sun and the stars in the sky.  And that they know they can achieve ANYTHING they can wrap their minds around.  With Love ....  pressing PUBLISH..... yes, Notorious Rob ....  I'm working on it.          

The Waters are CALM!

Since my last VACKAR FAMILY post, things have changed dramatically.  Our family is in a regular rhythm and it feels nice.  Although Braxtyn's Mother is in the Army, he seems to be doing well.  The first 4 weeks she was gone brought turmoil to his world.  Brax was testy and trying to understand, with a 5 year old comprehension, what was going on in his world.  Missing Mommy has to be tough!  With strict discipline and tons of love, this kid is coming out of his shell!  Kenzie and Gwire have been awesome in helping Brax with his transition.  It's awesome to see the three minis bond.

I'd be lying if I said this has been EASY.  Blayne and I have spent the last few months worrying about Braxtyn.  Will he be ok?  Will he know that his Mom loves him?  Will he understand why she left?  Will I do a good job filling in?  The anxiety that comes with loving a child like your own and not wanting to step on Mom's toes was eating me alive.  At the end of the day, and lots of prayers later, I realized that doing the right thing can never be wrong!  The best thing is to love all three kids the same, discipline them the same and be consistent in our weekly routines.  We talk about Brax's Mom daily and remind him of her love.  I send her pictures and a monthly newsletter that she seems to enjoy.  For now, Brax seems content here in our home.  Knowing that at any moment, we will need to switch gears if he begins having an issue coping with his Mom's absence.  But for now, God has shown us that HE is in control.  HE knows what is best and questioning HIM is futile.  Our family is closer than we've ever been.  The kids seem happier than ever!  I'm just such a worry wort and I just hope it continues.                    

Adjusting

WOW, much has happened since my last post.  First of all, as if I don't have enough to do, I took an extra job as the new Sales and Marketing Director for Chick-fil-A in Sugar Land.  It's been a huge blessing, allowing me to continue the real estate biz and flipping houses with Blayne.  My schedule is so flexible that I can pick up the kids each day at 3 pm in time to cook dinner and homework.  We still feel like we're on a bit of a roller coaster ride; but such is life, right?  Braxtyn is now living with us full time and adjusting like a champ!  Making friends at his new school with ease.  He sees his Mom every other weekend and seems happy to see her.  I've seen their relationship grow a lot lately!  His Mom leaves for the army in a few weeks so we are worried about how that will affect him.  Even so, Kenzie and Maguire are excited to have their brother around all the time.  Blayne and I are adjusting as well, although it's strange not hanging out together all day working!  We still manage to make room for date night each week which happens to be my favorite night of the week .....  even if we have a little red head tag-a-long!
A few weeks ago we completed a 15 year long tradition with my family.  Each year we write Valentine's letters to EVERY member of our family including The Vackar Family of 5, The Sullivan's (My sister and her family of 4) and my Parents.  It's such a fun time to reflect on the year and connect with each member through a special note.  It warms my heart to read the letters from my parents to the kids.  My parents gave the kids little tin mailboxes for their room which we use to leave love notes each day.  The minis LOVE checking the mail when they get home from school each day.  DeeDee (my Mom) even dropped off letters the other day with candy for their mailboxes.  I really am hoping that all this connection will somehow pay off.  That the kids will see this as tradition one day and find a sense of stability and love on a foundation in which they can stand.  Until next time .......................  

Unbelievable

It's been awhile since my last post and in a moment you'll know why.  Life has been a bit crazy lately with a new development in our Blending story.  There is very exciting news as of last week!  The fifth and youngest member of our family is finally coming to live under our roof full time!  The Daddy's boy Brax will move in Feb 1st!  We will never again have to look at that ONE empty chair at the dinner table for weeks at a time.  To be quite honest, meal times are when we notice the most.   The kids really miss him as do Blayne and I.  Kenzie and Gwire always say prayers for Brax before dinner; then we eat with heavy hearts, knowing one of us is missing.  Now, we are whole!  The kiddos are looking forward to going to school together in the fall.  Brax's Mom is taking a new job that has her traveling a lot!  In the excitement of blending our family, there is a big task ahead of us; making sure Brax keeps a great relationship with his Mother.  I pray each day that all of our kids are well rounded, stable, confident, independent .....  and most of all know they are very loved!  Till next time!